If Only for a Little While, We Had Some Unity

Just when I thought today's world couldn’t get any weirder, it did.

Who would’ve ever thought Bernie Sanders would give both sides of the political spectrum some common ground?

His get-up at the inauguration has provided both red and blue folks everywhere with something to do as they superimposed his grumpy image on photos from all four corners of the earth.

We’ve seen him sitting next to Big Bird and in the backseat of Wayne’s car during the Bohemian Rhapsody scene.

My favorite was him pictured with the Spice Girls. His Spice Girl name was “Old Spice.” Now, that’s funny.

There is even a website where you can enter any address and Bernie will appear on the picture.

I found them amusing for the first 800 or so times I saw them, but I suspect the frenzy will die down pretty soon, and we’ll just go back to business as usual.

***

I have had a life-changing experience.

No, I didn’t nearly fall off of a roof or answer the door for the Jehovah’s Witnesses. This is much, much bigger.

We got a toaster oven.

It bakes. It broils. It makes perfect toast.

It has a setting just for pizza.

When it’s finished doing whatever marvelous thing we tell it to do, it beeps three times, and the light comes on.

Dinner is served, without heating up the entire house.

I’ve always said it doesn’t take much to amuse me. And this is proof positive.

***

On a somber note, my childhood home is for sale. 

Mama moved out of it 20 years ago to spend her remaining time on this earth closer to her grandson.

My parents built it when I was a baby. If I recall correctly, it set them back $27,000.

It’s currently listed at $179,900. I looked at all the pictures on the real estate company’s website.

They took me back. In a way, they made me sad, and I don’t really know why. I’ve been gone from there 40 years.

Much of the interior is still original — the paneled walls in the den, the ornate cabinetry in the kitchen.

The “pink bathroom” as we called it is still the pink bathroom. That’s probably explains why it’s not priced just a bit more.

Since Mama sold it in 2001, someone put carpet over the hardwood floors in the living room, hall and bedrooms.

I’m not sure why anyone would do that. They were beautiful.

Once, a couple of friends and their daughter visited from out of town.

The daughter was taking tap dancing lessons, and her parents had her put on her tap shoes and show off what she had learned on the living room floor.

The floor survived, but Mama nearly didn’t. Being the polite hostess she was, she held it together until they left.

I shot basketball in the driveway and played football and baseball in the front yard. I watched Fantasy Island and The Love Boat and ate popcorn in the den on Saturday nights.

One of these days, I’m going to go back and ride through the old neighborhood and recall a simpler time.

In the meantime, I may pull it up online and put Bernie in the front yard.